Love, Joy, Vision – Words Fit for a Queen

queens.of.everything

Words are powerful and so are women. Mom’s, Grandma’s and female caretakers have an incredible impact on humanity but many don’t even think they have the power to move a shopping cart from one aisle to the next. This has to do with words.

Many women describe themselves with words like: fat cow, stupid, and weak. They have an overall view of themselves as “not good enough”.

If you feel like a powerless blob (and many women do even when they are in positions of power), begin by choosing your point of focus. Envision how you can incorporate words like Love, Joy, Vision and Power into your vocabulary about yourself and see what happens.
 

www.etsy.com/shop/IamGalVanized

Take a Second Look! Guest post by Gary Wilson

I spent the first few weeks of 1993 looking, with little success, for employment in the sales field. I would wake up in the early morning thinking about what could be wrong, is it me, or is it just the times. There had been job offers but nothing I felt was worthwhile. Some prospective employers suggested I could make big commissions in no time, but all I could see was a depressed economy. Then I remembered a lesson from my past, when someone else saw only one possibility.

A quiet winter morning had cleared from an early rain to crisp blue skies. Main Street was nearly deserted and all of Disneyland had a fresh sparkling look. I was 21 years old and liked working in the Hallmark Card Store. The year was 1960, Disneyland had been open about five years and I felt very privileged to have such a good job.

 

A customer had just left and the store was empty. I was making a routine check of the stock on display when a middle-aged man came in the side door. He casually looked around, sauntered down the aisle and ended up in the rear of the shop looking over a new display of paper party items. At almost the same time a very well groomed mature woman, dressed in an expensive tailored suit and high heels, entered the front door and asked for the location of the post cards.

As she leafed through the cards she told me what a thrill it was visiting Disneyland. She and her family had traveled from somewhere in the Midwest just to see this wonderful place. After several more very complimentary remarks about the park and some small talk about her home town, she turned toward the man who had entered just before her and said, “My only disappointment is that there isn’t some sort of dress code enforced at the gate.” “Obviously any person who has the price of a ticket can be admitted.” It was apparent she was referring to the appearance of my only other customer. He was dressed in slightly soiled tan pants and had a day old beard, however his hair was combed and his shirt was clean.

The man must have heard her remarks but he just continued to look over the new display. I wanted to shout, “TAKE A SECOND LOOK!” But I only smiled and the moment passed. The lady paid for her post cards and rejoined the few people on Main Street. The man turned, smiled and went out just as he had entered.

Too bad that lady didn’t lay aside her ideas about how things should be. If she had taken that second look, she might have turned her disappointment into an experience she could remember for a lifetime. Blinded by her own prejudice, she never got to meet the man in the back of the store, Walt Disney.
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Editors note: I originally received this submission years ago when I published the Endless Possibilities newsletter. This story has always been a powerful reminder to me not to judge a book by it’s cover. It’s also applicable to the Master Mind principle. Sometimes we are standing right next to a “dream come true” but we will miss it if we are in judgment of ourselves and others.

Vision: How to Navigate Transition Powerfully

Vision bottle cap
 
This week I got a new assignment to take over a college class that started 3 weeks ago. Why? Because one of the most beloved instructors at Long Beach City College passed away on Sunday.

To say this is a shock is an understatement. To say it is easy to handle is a lie. But this is where we are. What do we do?

I have learned after decades of working with groups that the best thing to do first is listen. We started class with a memorial service. Each student who wanted to could come up to the podium and share their thoughts and feelings with their classmates. I sat (purposely) in the audience, off to the side and observed.

As time passed, I gained a stronger understanding of what the students loved most about their instructor. I was able to ponder ways I could ease the transition by possibly maintaining some of the structure and practices they valued most. I was able to muster the strength to tell them that the class was never going to be the same. I was able to develop a vision.

What students spoke about most was how their teacher was warm, giving, inspiring and a mentor. They admired his intelligence and his unique teaching style. They liked his five-question essay tests and how he accepted his students “where they were” rather than expecting everyone in the room to be the same.

As I listened, I created the vision in my mind based on what the students were expressing. I considered my strengths and weaknesses and began formulating a plan for the semester. The plan might be that I am removed from this teaching assignment next week. Nonetheless, if I have two weeks, I want to do my best with that short period of time. I can’t afford to allow fear to sidetrack me because then the entire thing becomes overwhelming and a burden for us all. When my focus is on a collaborative vision, I seem to uncover the answers I need to attain the results I desire.

I’ll let you know how it goes. If you have any thoughts or comments, please post them here.

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Words and images always help me stay focused. Also, creativity is a great stress-reducer. That’s why I’m making bottle cap designs with words and images designed to evoke inspiration. If you’d like a fun, creative reminder of vision, visit our etsy store and see our bottle cap designs today.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/IamGalVanized

Dr. Romance on How to Be Civil to an Ex-Husband

To read more about this topic, visit the Dr. Romance Blog

Watch it on YouTube.

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California, with over 30 years’ experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again (Wiley), Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage (Adams Media) and The Commuter Marriage (Adams Media). She publishes “Happiness Tips from Tina”, an e-mail newsletter, and the “Dr. Romance Blog”.

Dr. Romance on Re-entry: How to Make Your Partner Feel Loved After Spending Time Apart

Watch it on YouTube.

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California, with over 30 years’ experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again (Wiley), Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage (Adams Media) and The Commuter Marriage (Adams Media). She publishes “Happiness Tips from Tina”, an e-mail newsletter, and the “Dr. Romance Blog”.

Dr. Romance: Improving Relationships Between Parents and Stepchildren

Watch it on YouTube.

Read more about this topic on the Dr. Romance Blog.

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California, with over 30 years’ experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again (Wiley), Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage (Adams Media) and The Commuter Marriage (Adams Media). She publishes “Happiness Tips from Tina”, an e-mail newsletter, and the “Dr. Romance Blog”.

Dr. Romance on How to Not be Shy at a Party

Watch it on YouTube.

Read more about this topic on the Dr. Romance Blog.

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California, with over 30 years’ experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again (Wiley), Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage (Adams Media) and The Commuter Marriage (Adams Media). She publishes “Happiness Tips from Tina”, an e-mail newsletter, and the “Dr. Romance Blog”.

Dr. Romance on Resolving Mother & Sister Fights

Watch it on YouTube.

Read more about this topic on the Dr. Romance Blog

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California, with over 30 years’ experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again (Wiley), Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage (Adams Media) and The Commuter Marriage (Adams Media). She publishes “Happiness Tips from Tina”, an e-mail newsletter, and the “Dr. Romance Blog”.